"Great Intentions"

this is my theme for this week, and quite possibly... my life. i always start off with the best of intentions, i'm going to save money, i'm going to eat better, i'm going to exercise, give to charity, shop less and spend less, spend more time with family... and im even going to blog about my success... right? well as with all of my other great intentions in life, i find that the harsh realities of life get in the way, and prevent me from having this ideal existence that i so long for, a life without rules where i can do whatever my heart desires without outside opinions or expectations.....

okay maybe this is a little dramatic. lighten up jennie you might say. well i'm a dramatic person... in a play there must be some kind of conflict or tension-otherwise its just boring... well its true of real life as well.... if i had the time to do everything i wanted i would probably find myself so bored that i'd just sit there and not do any of it.... as long as i continue to struggle i find that in that push and pull, the juggling of everyday life, the highs and lows of every day--that is where we learn the most about ourselves.... that is where the ideal existence happens...

so i'm going to stop feeling guilty about what i can't do, what i don't have time for.. i'm going to give myself a break. i realize its the focus shifting is what motivates me.... ive made a decision about what i want and instead of getting mad that i can't do it all immedietely with instantaneous results, i'm going to be happy that the two days this week that i did work out was better than last week. small steps. next week, maybe i'll be able to work out three or four days...

so i'll keep looking to the future. keep learning about myself and the world. and continue to grow... you do the same.

until next time...